What is worse?

No one can measure whether its harder to be single for a decade or newly single after a series of relationships?  I am sure that either could be shown to have its up and downs.  But one has to wonder if there was some device capable of measuring, what would be more painful?

Being alone in your bed night after night, with thoughts of romance that never quite evolve to a relationship surely can wear on a person no matter how many great things are going on in their life.  But going from a person in your bed every night, cooking together, waking up and starting your day with them, sharing holidays,  and having your permanent date to being on your own is also a big adjustment.  When you have lived one reality its often challenging to imagine the other.

There are many days, nights and in between where I absolutely love my life, and the experiences I would never have if I was married with a couple of kids, a college savings account and orthodontia bills to pay.  Yet of course there are those times when I re-sample the couple life and there is something really lovely about it.  To have your back stroked, your forehead kissed, someone to enjoy a view with or have a tasty meal with.......those things are just nice.  Whether your life is just how you picture it, somewhere in between or far off the mark, there is always something phenomenal that you need to celebrate and enjoy.  If you spend too much time searching, you will never just pause, breathe deeply and look around at how beautiful things may truly be right where you are at that moment.