Friday, March 20, 2009

Pastor Man

Daria wanted a pristine man.  She wanted the life with a white picked fence, a good husband, a quality father, and someone that made her a better person.  So she decided to try dating holy men.  Perhaps the bad boys from the bar were not going to amount to a successful union like the dream marriage she wished for.  

With holy men, came rules.  They do not appreciate the occasional potty mouth, semi-questionable humor involving scandalous stories, drunk phone calls from the bar, or penetration before marriage.  Well, a "re-born virgin" for lack of a better word describes this Pastor Man she had met.  So, while they were talking and had a prosperous make out session, sex was not in the cards until they were married.  This would require a great deal of discipline and Daria was not sure she could do this.  But she saw a path to greatness with this Pastor Man:  purity, birds chirping in the sky, a father teaching his kids how to ride a bike on the sidewalk, her preparing a roast for dinner, and a lovely sunday at church.  Ahhhh......this all sounded so lovely, but things that are too perfect may actually truly be just that.

Saturday night approaches, Daria is having a great time with her girlfriends. She has cocktails with Josie, then Treena arrives, and down goes some wine.  The night wears on, and soon her bravery is heightened.  With each drink, she becomes more carefree and so do her text messages to Pastor Man.  By morning she awakens to find a disaster.  Pastor Man infuriated at her debauchery, and even less pleased at the frequent messages he was receiving at 1:30am, and he had to send Daria to less holy pastures as her purity did not match up to a Pastor Man's potential wife.  

Lesson of the Story:  Pastor Men may not make great dating partners unless you are a Pastor-kind of woman.