Denise and the Trainer

Denise liked big guys who were cut and athletic.  She followed one home one evening, and left the door open.  In he went, off went the clothes, in went him, and then she heard a knock knock.  In came Trainer #2, his friend, ready for a hearty 3-some!  In he came, off came his clothes and soon Denise was wrapped up between 2 beefcakes, being fondled, touched, kissed and penetrated by both.  Although this was her first time with adventures of this nature, she just went with it.  She had quite a story to brag about with her friends later, leaving all of them gasping, mouths covered and quite in shock!

Tangled up love nest

Take the following scenario:  Bobby hooks up with Tizzy.  Tizzy crushes on Bobby, but Bobby is not interested in anything serious.  Time passes.  Then one day Tizzy meets Bobby's brother in a bar and tries to pursue him.  the only person in the equation that knows she tried for both is Tizzy. In the end, Tizzy did not end up with either.  Sometimes family and or friends may not realize that they in fact have hooked up or had relations with the same person, but it can happen in a small town or even a big city.  The most interesting part is the person who knew all along that they were drinking from the same trough and still went for it, figuring second best was still worth it?  Estelle and friends think that this is a little desperate, and a whole lot weird.  But, nevertheless, men and women alike still do this.  Why?

  

Hasn't anyone heard of the term "sloppy seconds"?  Estelle and girls think sloppy seconds are for gross, fat, very un-gorgeous kind of people and prefer to avoid those situations at all costs!  For those that are in these tangled up love nests and had no idea, Estelle likes to give you her condolences.  Truly, she is quite sorry.

Bentley Mama

Sometimes you run across a person that is memorable for one reason or another.  And you just cannot forget them.  During a recent bachelorette adventure, Estee met that very kind of person.  She was blond, full of energy, and not fearful of anything in the least.  She owned it.  She talked about wanting to drive up to the party in her Bentley, but dealing with the fact that she would have to take her Escalade instead with the 22 inch rims, sigh....that was so, second choice for her!  Her first choice wheels had been loaned out to the husband of said Bentley Mama.  And she was ok with him taking the Bentley for his boys night out.  Following that, a conversation ignited amongst the girls about Bentleys.  Who knew these girls knew anything about Bentleys?  Estee was clearly needing more high end automobile knowledge to hang with this posse!  As the evening, progressed, Bentley Mama became even more interesting.  She wore an animal print dress which fit her like a glove, she had more sparkles on her than the ladies of the red carpet, and her humor was as sharp as a knife.  She ensured we had good service, and that things were just right, all the while never forgetting to keep the fun meter on high.  Estee had a feeling that this Mama got what she wanted in life, and had fun along the way.  Even though, Estee was a far cry from this Bentley Mama, she did learn a few good pearls about life.  Don't be shy to ask for what you want--you just might get it.  Don't take crap from anyone, because you just don't have to!  And have fun, enjoy life and don't take anything too seriously!  

Cougalicious

While cougars have gotten a bad rap recently, one mustn't overlook the benefits of a prime cougar.  While they may have a bit more mileage than the young starlets on the scene running around in their short shorts, there are obvious advantages of sacking up with a cougar.

1.  They have years of experience

2.  Their sex drive is usually pretty high and they are comfortable with themselves

3.  Many times, their body has settled into an attractive beacon of beauty...(no college beer tummies, if they had children...they are fit again, and in general, things fall into place at this age)

4.  They may buy you drinks for a change

5.  They aren't looking for a sugar daddy

6.  There will certainly be interesting conversation

7.  Who doesn't like to be chased every now and then?

8.  They may let you drive their nice car

9.  They are not looking to have babies

10. The sound of purring can be nice

Women of all ages have their benefits, but in the name of cougars everywhere, I think they deserve a break.  If you feel like sampling some cougar meat, go on, enjoy.  

Ex Factor

DePaula was having one of those "lucky weeks".  We like to call it the ex factor.  She ran into 3 ex boys in a single week.  The odds of that happening would usually be quite slim, but perhaps the stars were aligned?  She saw Pastor Man while he was sitting with a dinner date....talk about awkward.  Then she saw Jonty who pretended not to see her, it was a classic case of eyes darting in any direction but the most likely one.  Finally, she spied Perch who actually gave her a queasy feeling in her stomach.  How many more exes can I run into in this town, she pondered?  I mean, really, do I need to have a disguise in the back seat to run to Target?   Was it because she dated so many boys that this was her reality or was she just having an incredibly "unlucky" stretch?

When its time to give up the corral

Dismantling a Corral can be just as tough as putting one together!

  

We all watched Sex in the City, and understand how much fun a girl can have with her posse of fabulous friends.  The happy hour adventures, the date stories or sagas as they sometimes turn out to be and the humbling moments you share with only your girls.  Just like buying new shoes, finding a new corral member can be a thrill.  One can imagine how a conquerer felt when he discovered a new chunk of land!  First things first, creating the descriptor for the new member is always fun.  Samantha curls her mouth with fondness as she thinks of past descriptors, "sockboy", "young buck", "perch", "Jersey", etc.  There is a temporary, "savor the moment" kind of mentality that goes hand in hand with corral management.  Samantha and her girls know that these boys, and men in some cases will only be around for a while.  Its exciting when there is a new crop to explore.  Some friends have a few regular members who have enough charisma to stand out in a corral, and enough mystery to stay at arms length.  They have staying power, but only as a corral member.  They will never graduate to anything further. There seems to be nothing wrong with this for either person.  C'est la vie!

Sometimes you encounter a beautiful specimen, and typically if they are that gorgeous from an exterior perspective....they most likely do not amount to as much in the inside.  That being said, they can be considered corral beautification.  Let them spruce things up for a bit?!  There are those that can contribute adventure, romance, drunken moments shared or company when things are rough.  Everyone has a place.  Rarely, there is a front runner who establishes himself at a different level.  Usually there is a wait and see pattern to see what comes of this champion corral member?  

Juggling corral members can be challenging at times.  Remembering names, professions, pets, injuries, food preferences, and the like can be a great deal of information for one to memorize.  Perhaps we should create study tools of sorts for gals looking to optimize their management skills?  You say cheat sheet, I say Blackberry memo.  Either way, notes can be helpful.  

Then once upon a time, you may get lucky and encounter a person who really jolts you.  This caliber of person usually is a big fat sign that the corral herding is coming to a screeching halt.  The days of texting 3 boys at once and not caring much about any particular corral member are gone.  This person is beyond front runner status.  This is usually someone that you realize quite rapidly falls into a whole different category in life.  They can make a girl kick her corral to the curb in an instant!  A girl could go from a 10 boy corral wielding genius to a taken woman in a matter of days and be happy as a girl who won a pair of free Jimmy Choos!  

In such cases of the heart, girls need to dismantle the corral as their focus quickly becomes centered on the single, wonderful man.  Are their risks?  Indeed.  You risk it all.  You risk your heart being broken into a gazillion pieces.  You risk losing all of the clever corral building you have worked so hard for.  You may lose your regular happy hour dates.  You may be accused of  going to the dark side, etc.  But if it pans out, it can be well worth the sacrifice.  

Corral dismantling requires 2 typical types of actions.  One is easy, the blow off.  Let things fizzle, die out and remain a mystery.  The other requires some form of communication notifying the members that your status has changed and you are now off the corral herding market. The key is not continuing random engagement with corral members just in case.....when you really don't care about them at all, because in the end this could severely backfire in many ways.  When its done, its done.  

So girls, get out there an find corral members if you are single.....there will be plenty of time to be snuggled up by the fire with your dreamboat.  If you have found someone amazing, then kick the corral members to the curb and enjoy having a beautiful person next to you to do whatever you want with!

Bizarre Love Triangle

Just when we thought adult life was dull in comparison to the juicy teen age dramas we all loved so very much. Any Rockin Chick or their male counterparts for that matter, remember the time when we were glued to the television, in disbelief of what was going down on 90210.  Brenda fell in love with Dylan.  He was her first, he had her heart, and she trusted him.  Kelly was her best friend, she could depend on her and she trusted her of course.  Someone like Brenda would only assume that if she went away for the summer, her boyfriend and her best friend would be looking out for her best interests. Assumptions can be pointless. We all know how heart-wrenching that awkward moment was when Kelly and Dylan appeared at Brenda's front door.  

They wanted to confront Brenda and tell her everything.  They wanted to bleed their souls of guilt and lay it out there, doing the right thing by finally coming clean.  Brenda basically told them to screw off, ran away crying and who knows if Dylan and Kelly thought much about it that evening.  The moral to this story is that any bizarre love triangle is going to end with someone being broken hearted.  It may be temporary, and it may fizzle out and be kosher in the end.  But for that uncomfortable period of time, it can be a real bizarro thing.  Telling the truth will always make one feel better, even if you get a door slammed in your face, or a starbucks thrown at you.  In the end, love hurts.