Ex Factor

DePaula was having one of those "lucky weeks".  We like to call it the ex factor.  She ran into 3 ex boys in a single week.  The odds of that happening would usually be quite slim, but perhaps the stars were aligned?  She saw Pastor Man while he was sitting with a dinner date....talk about awkward.  Then she saw Jonty who pretended not to see her, it was a classic case of eyes darting in any direction but the most likely one.  Finally, she spied Perch who actually gave her a queasy feeling in her stomach.  How many more exes can I run into in this town, she pondered?  I mean, really, do I need to have a disguise in the back seat to run to Target?   Was it because she dated so many boys that this was her reality or was she just having an incredibly "unlucky" stretch?

When its time to give up the corral

Dismantling a Corral can be just as tough as putting one together!

  

We all watched Sex in the City, and understand how much fun a girl can have with her posse of fabulous friends.  The happy hour adventures, the date stories or sagas as they sometimes turn out to be and the humbling moments you share with only your girls.  Just like buying new shoes, finding a new corral member can be a thrill.  One can imagine how a conquerer felt when he discovered a new chunk of land!  First things first, creating the descriptor for the new member is always fun.  Samantha curls her mouth with fondness as she thinks of past descriptors, "sockboy", "young buck", "perch", "Jersey", etc.  There is a temporary, "savor the moment" kind of mentality that goes hand in hand with corral management.  Samantha and her girls know that these boys, and men in some cases will only be around for a while.  Its exciting when there is a new crop to explore.  Some friends have a few regular members who have enough charisma to stand out in a corral, and enough mystery to stay at arms length.  They have staying power, but only as a corral member.  They will never graduate to anything further. There seems to be nothing wrong with this for either person.  C'est la vie!

Sometimes you encounter a beautiful specimen, and typically if they are that gorgeous from an exterior perspective....they most likely do not amount to as much in the inside.  That being said, they can be considered corral beautification.  Let them spruce things up for a bit?!  There are those that can contribute adventure, romance, drunken moments shared or company when things are rough.  Everyone has a place.  Rarely, there is a front runner who establishes himself at a different level.  Usually there is a wait and see pattern to see what comes of this champion corral member?  

Juggling corral members can be challenging at times.  Remembering names, professions, pets, injuries, food preferences, and the like can be a great deal of information for one to memorize.  Perhaps we should create study tools of sorts for gals looking to optimize their management skills?  You say cheat sheet, I say Blackberry memo.  Either way, notes can be helpful.  

Then once upon a time, you may get lucky and encounter a person who really jolts you.  This caliber of person usually is a big fat sign that the corral herding is coming to a screeching halt.  The days of texting 3 boys at once and not caring much about any particular corral member are gone.  This person is beyond front runner status.  This is usually someone that you realize quite rapidly falls into a whole different category in life.  They can make a girl kick her corral to the curb in an instant!  A girl could go from a 10 boy corral wielding genius to a taken woman in a matter of days and be happy as a girl who won a pair of free Jimmy Choos!  

In such cases of the heart, girls need to dismantle the corral as their focus quickly becomes centered on the single, wonderful man.  Are their risks?  Indeed.  You risk it all.  You risk your heart being broken into a gazillion pieces.  You risk losing all of the clever corral building you have worked so hard for.  You may lose your regular happy hour dates.  You may be accused of  going to the dark side, etc.  But if it pans out, it can be well worth the sacrifice.  

Corral dismantling requires 2 typical types of actions.  One is easy, the blow off.  Let things fizzle, die out and remain a mystery.  The other requires some form of communication notifying the members that your status has changed and you are now off the corral herding market. The key is not continuing random engagement with corral members just in case.....when you really don't care about them at all, because in the end this could severely backfire in many ways.  When its done, its done.  

So girls, get out there an find corral members if you are single.....there will be plenty of time to be snuggled up by the fire with your dreamboat.  If you have found someone amazing, then kick the corral members to the curb and enjoy having a beautiful person next to you to do whatever you want with!

Bizarre Love Triangle

Just when we thought adult life was dull in comparison to the juicy teen age dramas we all loved so very much. Any Rockin Chick or their male counterparts for that matter, remember the time when we were glued to the television, in disbelief of what was going down on 90210.  Brenda fell in love with Dylan.  He was her first, he had her heart, and she trusted him.  Kelly was her best friend, she could depend on her and she trusted her of course.  Someone like Brenda would only assume that if she went away for the summer, her boyfriend and her best friend would be looking out for her best interests. Assumptions can be pointless. We all know how heart-wrenching that awkward moment was when Kelly and Dylan appeared at Brenda's front door.  

They wanted to confront Brenda and tell her everything.  They wanted to bleed their souls of guilt and lay it out there, doing the right thing by finally coming clean.  Brenda basically told them to screw off, ran away crying and who knows if Dylan and Kelly thought much about it that evening.  The moral to this story is that any bizarre love triangle is going to end with someone being broken hearted.  It may be temporary, and it may fizzle out and be kosher in the end.  But for that uncomfortable period of time, it can be a real bizarro thing.  Telling the truth will always make one feel better, even if you get a door slammed in your face, or a starbucks thrown at you.  In the end, love hurts.

Datefully Busy

Dating can be an artform.  Truly, to master the fine art of booking dates, cleverly keeping openings for pop ups, and ensuring ample time for hair, nails, shopping and beauty rest......this in itself is an accomplishment.  Not all women are armed equally for this social dance of sorts. Some girls dive off the springboard high dive without an ounce of fear, embracing every unknown nook lurking behind the web profiles.  While others, stand poolside, skeptical of the water temperature and unsure if its worth that initial chill of jumping in.  And yet some even more unusual girls, just cannon ball in, making splashes and faux-pas and annoying everyone in the reachable vicinity.  The success varies in each case.  And well, "success" can be defined in many ways all of them being relative.  The real question a Rockin Chick may ponder is whether more dates equals a better dating life?  or if all of the temporary butterflies and subsequent let downs are a time suck?

is the grass ever greener?

The saying is used so much, its almost tired.  But it has a lot of real merit.  In today's world, we think we can find ways to make ourselves look younger and better by purchasing a new hip outfit, or by dying our hair.  We think we will be happy if we just buy that fancy new car we love so much.  We think perhaps our lives will be more fulfilled if we live in that perfect home with kids and a pet.  We think that losing 5 lbs will turn us into Cindy Crawford in her early years of hotness. Perhaps we think we will feel more accomplished if we take that other job down the street?  And sometimes when we are comfortable, we may wonder if there may be more excitement and fulfillment with someone aside from the one we are with.  We have all believed, whether momentarily or longer, that the grass may be greener on the other side.  The reality is that it usually is not.  If we have a good thing, we should cherish it.  If we have a good life, we should not try to yearn for someone else's.  And if we suddenly feel like life could be more exciting, well.....of course it could be.  But remember, excitement is a very temporary feeling.  Its wonderful by all means, and those things that make us feel important, sexy or sought after cannot hold a candle to knowing that someone understands the ins and outs of every element of your person and still loves you unconditionally.  Its the lows in life that make us appreciate this the most.  When things are going well and all is good, its easy to keep searching for more fun, more excitement and more good times.  But when we've been knocked down, when we are feeling dejected, overwhelmed, weak, unsure of ourselves, those are times that it is wonderful to have someone by your side that knows you and loves you.  Lets linger on that for a bit, and lay out a blanket on our perfectly green grass and smile and realize how lucky we truly are.

International Playboy

The international playboy profile is one we all can recognize, and at times appreciate.  He is charming, fun loving, mysterious and impossible to pin down.  But with all of that good, one imagines that there may be a shot of the bad as well?  a broken heart in one continent, a stalker in the States, an immigrant pseudo-girlfriend manning his favorite grocery store....there certainly can be a lot to manage.  But the international playboy has plenty of stories, and antics to linger on as he sits on the beach sipping a beer.  He certainly has a memory or two that can bring a smirk to his face on occasion and clearly no regrets.  

Dita and the Spanish Baby Boy

Dita sighs thinking that her vacation must end all too abruptly.  She packed all of those colorful dresses!  After a rough day, Dita decides she needs a night out on her vacation.  She wants to put on a dress, look fabulous, have a good meal, some cocktails, maybe some dancing and hopefully find a good looking guy to make her feel better about life.  She sets out, little town beware.  She hops from one place to the next, her mood improving by the hour.  The sassiness was being injected into her veins, as she gained courage and confidence which projected at the bar and later on the dance floor.  She sits with her friend sipping a sweet concoction, and spots a handsome, chiseled face man, er....boy.  He was not her typical style.  He wore a long, curly mane of sun-kissed locks, he was foreign, and had such young, tan skin.  In the back of her mind, she knew he was very young, but dismissed the thoughts and forged ahead.  Soon enough, she found herself on the dance floor, being kissed forcefully.  Her friend glanced over, and thought that Dita might be getting her face eaten off, but alas....it was just a passionate kiss of sorts.  Dita was happy, all thoughts of disappointment were diminished and she was in the moment, enjoying every aspect of this handsome young stranger.  Her friend got sleepy, and decided to call it a night.  Who knows what came of Dita and the very young Spanish boy......