Really? Is this ever a good idea......um, NO.
The Best Gifts To Give To New Moms And Their Babies
11 years ago
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
The unexpected hot hook up
There are times when the blood running through your veins is heated, the stars are aligned and the hormones are hyped. Perhaps you have sucked down a few vodka & soda's, the music has you gyrating and jiving and you happen to be wearing a hot skirt and sexy shoes? The flirtation is there, without a doubt. The gentleman suitor is good looking, and those frequent touches send shivers down your spine. As the night proceeds, he brushes past you and you find yourself accidentally reaching past him to ensure bodily contact.
Wait, what am I doing? I was not planning on hooking up, but I am feeling like I just "can't fight this feeling anymore". I know it is going to happen, and crap, I just did not think this would happen to us, tonight.
20 minutes later your lips are meeting, he is squeezing your arms, and you are clutching his back and thinking, "holy crap, he is strong! " You both get even more turned on, as you climb on top of him. "Oohhhhhhkay, he is excited also" you feel as you his manhood and all of its tenacity. The rest is history, the unexpected hook up is fulfilling for the free spirited woman and perhaps regretful for the conservative lady. Seize the day...er the night.
Spray tan, IUD, bikini wax and no curfew
Penelope was already enjoying the new arrangement she had in life, which allowed for plenty of time doing what she wanted, loads of fun with her children and ample evening time for dates and dudes.
Despite the negative and sad part of the new situation, she was realizing there was quite a silver lining. She was happier than she had been in years, and her stress level was diminished all the while she was feeling better and better about herself. No one can argue that these are positive things despite anyone's ideals about marriage and love. No one should stay in a bad situation, and no should endure heartache, misery, pain and infidelity no matter what your promises are for life and eternal bonding. In a perfect world, surely Ms. Penelope wanted to have a lasting marriage and she worked hard to try to keep it together but after years of unhappiness, she shed the worthless other half and has embarked upon a new path sure to make her life and her children's life improved in a myriad of ways.
What do you do when you have not been single in decades? Talk to your single girlfriends to get the scoop on what is normal, what guys expect on a first date and what to do when they pin you in the car for a make out session. Do you sleep with a guy on date 3 or do you hold out? Do you have oral sex to avoid the penetration situation? Do you just do dinner and goodnight kisses until you become exclusive? My motto is go with whatever feels comfortable to you and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. In the end, you have to live with your decisions and your choices. For Ms. Penelope, she is armed and dangerous and living the dream! (tanned of course!)
Friday, July 23, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
How do you politely say, I'm done?
Mia was wrapped up in love and in a relationship that was not healthy. Even though the couple had amazing times, some good memories, and certainly an intimacy and connection, there was some toxic elements that completely overshadowed the good. The toxicity was so strong because it ate away at the core of what was good. No matter if their love was as big as the sun, it would not have been possible for it to survive because the negative elements were so damaging that their effects were deep and permanent in nature. It was sad when it ended, but it also gave Mia a sudden feeling that it was the right choice. She had battled with it for far too long, and struggled because her gut told her that she needed to get out long long before. She ignored it. But deep down, the trust was gone, and time and time again the lack of honesty would rear its head into a streak of good times and overshadow all the good. It was like an eclipse of the sun....all the light would be covered up by darkness. Sad, but true in this particular relationship. She felt healthier, more herself and better about everything once it had ended. She wanted to part on as good of terms as possible, because bad endings are never pleasant.
Charles, post break up, walked away thinking he was completely done with this whole thing and this girl. He was in a different place than she was and he needed to enjoy life, figure out what he wanted and needed and explore the world. He did just that. He traveled, he partied, and surely he had moments of solitude and sadness but all in all he immersed himself into a world he had been out of for some time. Months later, he realized how much he missed Mia and their life together. It was easy for Charles to think about the good times, and forget the painful memories.....because he was on the other end of them, each and every time. He was not the one sitting up hour after hour wondering if the other person would message or call, knowing they were drinking heavily and scared out of your mind about their safety, their surroundings and what horrible things could be happening. He was not the one who found out about secret messages or secret meetings, and had to drive himself crazy wondering how many others he just wasn't aware of? He was not the one who endured the humiliation when several people knew your significant other cheated in a blacked out setting, and found out bits and pieces, but never quite ever knew the truth? Yes, a ha....so this is why it was easy for Charles to remember the good and think that perhaps they should give it another try? Once Mia was out of the relationship, she realized how unhealthy those bouts of dishonesty, drinking and deceit were to the core of what they had. Sure, they had great love but it was rotted at the root because early on, there was deception and little lies sprinkled through out, almost cyclical in nature.....3-4 months of bliss, and then a night of black outs/avoidance/pushing her to voicemail/no messages for a 12 hour period and then a bevy of facts she would never truly know....and to be honest, perhaps he did not even know? The drinking was so heavy at times when stress was high, that Charles used it to avoid reality, including Mia....and the blur may have been so intense that even the breaks of trust and the moments of infidelity, stupidity, selfishness, lack of control were erased from his memory, too? One will never know.
In the end, her perception of the relationship was far different from his because she sat on the other side, suffering those sleepless nights and he was drowning in a bottle of something with friends. Even if there were 3 or 4 or 5 incidents, those were far too many to live with. No one wants to see a trend repeat that hurts so much and think that it could keep repeating in your future, only to create a pattern of pain, a life of doubt, worry, and insecurity. Its just plain toxic.
So, how do you say, "I am done"? How do you make it clear that you don't want to open the door to that pain? The fact is, Mia didn't want to be hurtful. She wanted them to go their separate ways peacefully. But, sometimes even when you try to say goodbye on a good note, you just can't. It takes a brutal dose of candor which can sting, but it usually does the trick of finally, making things FINAL.
Charles, post break up, walked away thinking he was completely done with this whole thing and this girl. He was in a different place than she was and he needed to enjoy life, figure out what he wanted and needed and explore the world. He did just that. He traveled, he partied, and surely he had moments of solitude and sadness but all in all he immersed himself into a world he had been out of for some time. Months later, he realized how much he missed Mia and their life together. It was easy for Charles to think about the good times, and forget the painful memories.....because he was on the other end of them, each and every time. He was not the one sitting up hour after hour wondering if the other person would message or call, knowing they were drinking heavily and scared out of your mind about their safety, their surroundings and what horrible things could be happening. He was not the one who found out about secret messages or secret meetings, and had to drive himself crazy wondering how many others he just wasn't aware of? He was not the one who endured the humiliation when several people knew your significant other cheated in a blacked out setting, and found out bits and pieces, but never quite ever knew the truth? Yes, a ha....so this is why it was easy for Charles to remember the good and think that perhaps they should give it another try? Once Mia was out of the relationship, she realized how unhealthy those bouts of dishonesty, drinking and deceit were to the core of what they had. Sure, they had great love but it was rotted at the root because early on, there was deception and little lies sprinkled through out, almost cyclical in nature.....3-4 months of bliss, and then a night of black outs/avoidance/pushing her to voicemail/no messages for a 12 hour period and then a bevy of facts she would never truly know....and to be honest, perhaps he did not even know? The drinking was so heavy at times when stress was high, that Charles used it to avoid reality, including Mia....and the blur may have been so intense that even the breaks of trust and the moments of infidelity, stupidity, selfishness, lack of control were erased from his memory, too? One will never know.
In the end, her perception of the relationship was far different from his because she sat on the other side, suffering those sleepless nights and he was drowning in a bottle of something with friends. Even if there were 3 or 4 or 5 incidents, those were far too many to live with. No one wants to see a trend repeat that hurts so much and think that it could keep repeating in your future, only to create a pattern of pain, a life of doubt, worry, and insecurity. Its just plain toxic.
So, how do you say, "I am done"? How do you make it clear that you don't want to open the door to that pain? The fact is, Mia didn't want to be hurtful. She wanted them to go their separate ways peacefully. But, sometimes even when you try to say goodbye on a good note, you just can't. It takes a brutal dose of candor which can sting, but it usually does the trick of finally, making things FINAL.
The horrors of online dating
LC and her friends decided to give online dating a try, and did up witty, fun profiles, uploaded photos, and enjoyed a Saturday night of girls bonding, laughing and drinking champagne. Izzy helped them write the profiles, different for each of the girls, custom tailored to each personality. Cecelia was getting her sugar rush on and giggling over the concept of 4 girls drinking Veuve Cliquot and doing dating profiles. Ava got so into it, she got up with her laptop and bee lined for the door so she could finish up her profile at home. Everyone parted happy with their evening and their new dating sites.
LC was reviewing messages, when a good looking guy caught her eye. They messaged briefly, and she asked why the mysterious profile....what did he do for a living, what did he do in his spare time, etc. His response is about as shocking as they come. LC could not make this up if she tried!! He tells her he used to model for Doc Johnson sex toys and now does marketing. LC's eye almost popped out of her head when she read that statement. What the hell? Ok, so she responds back wondering if this is some joke, and asking if it is gay porn or what kind of modeling this could be? LC is dumbfounded and horrified equally. His response. "Gay porn??? No. I used to model for women's sex toys. They would make a mold, a cast of my penis. Then, they would make a dildo, in my likeness. My "likeness" was a very popular item. Yes, I work for the Doc Johnson company, I'm in marketing. Anyway, thanks for being open minded and not pre-judging me. Take care"
Just when you think life is dull or unexciting, someone comes around and shocks the hell out of you. In LC's case, a potential good looking person to meet from this online site has suddenly shown her that there are plenty of careers out there that she was completely unaware of. He can keep his "likeness"!
LC was reviewing messages, when a good looking guy caught her eye. They messaged briefly, and she asked why the mysterious profile....what did he do for a living, what did he do in his spare time, etc. His response is about as shocking as they come. LC could not make this up if she tried!! He tells her he used to model for Doc Johnson sex toys and now does marketing. LC's eye almost popped out of her head when she read that statement. What the hell? Ok, so she responds back wondering if this is some joke, and asking if it is gay porn or what kind of modeling this could be? LC is dumbfounded and horrified equally. His response. "Gay porn??? No. I used to model for women's sex toys. They would make a mold, a cast of my penis. Then, they would make a dildo, in my likeness. My "likeness" was a very popular item. Yes, I work for the Doc Johnson company, I'm in marketing. Anyway, thanks for being open minded and not pre-judging me. Take care"
Just when you think life is dull or unexciting, someone comes around and shocks the hell out of you. In LC's case, a potential good looking person to meet from this online site has suddenly shown her that there are plenty of careers out there that she was completely unaware of. He can keep his "likeness"!
Monday, July 5, 2010
Pamela and her playground
Ms. Pamela was finally able to sluff off the sadness of her broken marriage and was embracing her newly found confidence. She shared tales of dating, ego boosts and the realization that she was actually cute and fun (something she had forgotten). Even though the demise of her 20 year relationship was heartbreaking, she saw the silver lining in this new life that she was living. Her temporary wild streak was part of her therapy. It allowed her to feel good, feel sexy and feel confident again. She bonded differently with those she loved, and appreciated the valuable people in her life at a much higher level. Instead of feeling sick with uneasiness when her husband did not come home, sitting up waiting and wondering.....she was now turning down dates and managing her own social calendar based on her own whims and notions. She had control again, and it felt like she was on top of the mountain. She had the house, the kids, no worries, and all the dates a girl could want.....along with an ex-husband that realized how foolish he was. Everything was just where she wanted it to be.
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